Taking a long haul flight with a young child can be a daunting experience.  The days when you can take one bag, enjoy the free drinks, the in-flight entertainments system, eat a leisurely meal and then recline to sleep off a large portion of the Atlantic are over as soon as you have to take a child with you.

The first major problem is just how much stuff you have to take with you, especially in the early years.  It is surprising how many suitcases need to be packed with favourite toys, clothes, nappies, bottles, sterilising equipment, and all the other accoutrements required for a child. This is a problem from before you even get to the airport when it becomes clear that the luggage won’t fit in the back of the car – at least not with two kids a pram and a pushchair.  The process of getting everything from the car to check-in is also not an enjoyable experience, involving multiple trips across long term parking, irate bus drivers and luggage carts too small for their purpose.

Secondly, although focused on a ten hour flight as the major entertainment issue, there is also a three-hour drive to the airport, forty minutes to take the bus from long term parking, two hours of check in time and interminable queues for passport control, security and check-in.  Most kids are asking “are we there yet” before they have boarded the plane.

However, once the bags are checked in and you’re sitting on the aeroplane, things can still go wrong. The food is the first potential problem.  You have to make sure that you order a child’s meal in advance, rather than subject the kids to the normal adult fare, which could easily be completely unsuitable. Even with a child’s meal the aircraft reheating facilities tend to result in the food coming out very hot indeed.  This issue also applies to bottled milk warming.  Although only too happy to help, cabin crew appear to be under the impression that babies come with asbestos interiors.   Milk always tends to come back very hot which is just what you need when a hungry baby can see a bottle of milk they cannot be allowed to have.

It is also always worth taking your own supply of favourite snack as well, just in case your child’s eating schedule doesn’t exactly match that of the airline – which is very likely, and on the basis that the peanuts and pretzels that seem to be standard these days are not always the best thing for the kids.

The seating you get can also make a big difference to the experience.  This will depend on the configuration of the particular aircraft, but travelling with a child means you can request a bulkhead seat, which means you will end up with more space than in a normal row.  It may result in some slightly strange arrangements for viewing in-flight movies, but let’s face it; your days of spending a plane journey falling asleep watching the in-flight movie are over anyway.

You can normally also request a bassinette for a small child.  They won’t be allowed to stay in there while the seat belt sign is on, which can be a real pain if they are asleep and you get one of those flights where the seat belt sign goes on and off at regular intervals, but it is more comfortable for all concerned than being held for several hours.

The toilets tend to have a fold down table, which is convenient, but they also have just enough room to prevent you doing anything comfortably in there.  A toddler in pull-ups can be a difficult situation once they are too big for the table. It is best to watch for a break in the queue and to try and get kids in there while everyone else on the aeroplane is doing something else like eating or sleeping.  This can make you unpopular with the cabin crew, but you have toe develop a very thick skin and realise that you would be less popular if you subjected a crowded cabin to a child’s toilet accident.   Waiting until there is a need to go can be the wrong thing to do.

In between eating, sleeping and toileting there is also a need for entertainment.  Most airlines will provide a free “kiddy bag” of things to keep a child amused.  This contains just enough to hold a child’s attention until a few minutes before take-off.  On long-haul flights there will normally be in-flight TV channels, including kids TV, which has a tendency to be back-to-back cartoons designed to dull a child’s senses until they reach a semi-comatose state.  This may not necessarily be a bad thing.  The remote control on the armrest is a lot of fun though, but remember to pre-warn the cabin crew that when the crew call light goes on every ten seconds they can ignore it if they wish.  However, there seems to be an increasing trend for in flight entertainment systems not to be working.  They cannot be relied upon.  A portable DVD player with a selection of DVDs is an almost essential travelling companion.  This does however add to the seating requirements in that you need to try and make sure you have a set that has a power supply nearby.  Business travellers can soon be convinced of the need for your child to have access to the power socket they were using for their laptop.

For babies in particular, the best entertainment tends to be walking up and down the aisles.  You need to make the most of the times you can do this, as it is also the most unpopular activity you can undertake when the cabin crew are trying to serve drinks and meals, or sell you something from their extensive range of duty-free goods that you can no longer afford to buy or have the strength to carry.

 Other passengers can also be a source of great entertainment as well, but normally only for a limited time.  While a two year old will happily play peek a boo for the whole duration of a transatlantic flight, the childless adults who thought it was a good idea to start the game just before take off soon realise they have made a terrible mistake.

When you get there and you need to get into a car to finish your journey there is the final pleasure of dealing with car seats.  Hire car firms will normally provide car seats, but they have to be ordered in advance if you need one.  Taking you own care seat may not be an option, as car seats from the UK may not be legal in other countries.  Airlines will not normally allow a car seat on the aeroplane, and just to add to the fun, they will also often not allow you to check a car seat with your normal luggage.  It has to go to the oversized luggage counter, where, depending on the time of year, you can find yourself in a long queue behind skiers and golfers.  It is about this time that it is a good idea to ask your children how loud they can scream, as it is surprising how quickly a baggage attendant will come and take the car seat from you and check it in on your behalf!

Pushchairs are another matter.  Holding onto the pushchair in the departure lounge until the last possible moment is by far the best thing to do.  Otherwise you will have to carry a child around for at least two hours. Most airlines will allow you to check a pushchair at the gate, so you can keep it with you until you board the aircraft.  Unfortunately this does not guarantee that it will come off first at the other end, and although some times it has been waiting for us at the door as we “de-planed” at other times it has been the last thing on the carousel in baggage reclaim.  Picking up all your bags while holding a small child is yet another experience that is not stress free experience.

Air travel isn’t really designed to be enjoyable when you go on your own. With children it is an endurance test.  Is your skin thick enough to survive the time when your child is screaming and keeping three hundred people awake?  Do you have the patience to happily wake your child up when they finally go to sleep and the captain switches the seat belt sign on for no apparent reason, meaning you now have to strap the child to your lap?  Do you have the will power to resist free drinks and an in-flight movie?  If so, then enjoy. 

Richard Hallows is the author of Full Time Father (www.whiteladderpress.com)