Recently it has become almost impossible to avoid listening to some politician or environmentally activist ranting incessantly about the way in which we need to live our lives in order to avoid the inevitable onset of cataclysmic climate change.

Unfortunately it seems that most of the advice that is offered seems to have little or no connection with life in the real world that the rest of us have to live in.  In particular, any similarity with the realities of family life is purely coincidental.

For example, there are not many of us with children (especially when living in a rural area) who can get by without the use of a car, and when all the kids at school are enjoying the latest piece of cheap electronics imported from the Far East, it is a hard parent who can deny their own children the same just because it may or may not make a difference to whether Norfolk is a bit wetter than usual in the next century. 

 Of course, being a parent means we should all be considering the next century much more than we used to, because we should be thinking of the planet our children will inherit from us.  However, there is an alternative argument that it would be much easier to save the planet if it wasn’t for the children.  Being green would be much easier.  It’s not as if they care that much anyway.  I asked my six year old if we should generate our own power with a wind turbine on the roof, but he said he’d rather have a power ranger instead.

Kids make being green difficult from the moment they are born.  I refer of course, to the great nappy debate.  Disposable or reusable? That is the question.  Unfortunately the research done into this subject shows that the environmental impact of disposables, home washing, or a nappy laundry service are pretty much the same.  (This did not go down well with those who had been washing nappies for the last five years, as you can imagine, and there are lots of arguments about the veracity of the research as a result.) 

Now, there are also biodegradable compostable disposable nappies to contend with as well. Unfortunately nobody will guarantee that composting them will remove all the pathogens that might be present, and sending them to landfill won’t provide the right environment for them to compost.  Pretty much a waste of time for me I am afraid.

As they get older, kids quickly seem to learn how to switch electrical devices on, but somehow without ever learning that the switch also works the other way.  I spend a fair part of my day walking round the house switching off televisions, games consoles and lights, and closing the fridge door.

Food is also a huge environmental issue.  Almost any food aimed at children involves a huge amount of packaging (I daren’t even think about what’s inside a lot of it), and making sure they get their five portions of fruit and vegetables every day inevitably involves thousands of “food miles” as they provide full support for the Spanish agricultural economy, and New Zealand apple producers.  Of course, you may be lucky enough to have a child who will eat seasonal produce and will happily consume chard and turnips.  Sadly, I don’t.

Green holidays are difficult as well.  When the basic prerequisites of a holiday are that it is during the school holidays, guarantees good weather, is cheap and involves a beach, the chances are it is going to involve a cheap flight from Luton airport (or somewhere similar).  This is apparently not good for your carbon footprint.  Of course you could take a three year old and a six year old on a walking holiday in the Lake District, but only if you were feeling really cruel.

Then there is the car.  There is no way I am cycling two kids to school with a trailer on the back.  Not when there are five hundred flustered, time-pressed mothers in 4x4s making their way to the same destination with little or no consideration for the life expectancy of those around them.  Then there is ballet, football club, drum lessons, piano lessons and all the rest of it that requires the parental taxi service.  If the kids had to make a choice between the planet and the car, I am guessing they would choose the car.

Of course, there are some areas where the kids help with being green.  For example, in primary school you can recycle all your cardboard boxes by sending them to school for various educationally important model making activities.  (Although, unfortunately you get them all back six weeks later covered in paint.) Children’s clothes can be handed down through the family and there is always a ready market for second hand toys and books, and most kids are very enthusiastic about saving water.  At least mine seem to have an aversion to bathing and are incapable of flushing the toilet.

But, perhaps the biggest motivator for all of us parents to be greener is that the kids are being taught about environmental issues all the way from their first years at primary school.  Unless we want to spend a lot more time being lectured by children who apparently know everything, we need to get our green act together, and fast.