Unless you plan to be a stay-at-home dad or work from home, you’ll probably be among the thousands of men who trudge back to the office after the 14-day blur of babycare, cooing relatives and general upheaval that is paternity leave.

It might seem like a blissful respite, given the level of pandemonium at home, but the return to work isn’t always the clear-cut break that it appears. Leaving your partner with the baby after such an intensive period of bonding is bound to be an emotional upheaval – her job will suddenly get harder, while your priorities are suddenly elsewhere. But somehow you have to muddle through the day job and still have enough energy to continue the crucial bonding process with your new baby.

The pinch is felt almost everywhere, and sometimes in the unlikeliest places. When a friend of mine went back to work after the birth of his first son he tried his best to be the consummate professional in the office. Sadly, no-one told his colleagues about this, and they spent hours bombarding him with requests for photos, offers of second-hand trikes and burp cloths, and general reminiscences about their own experiences of parenthood.

Whether or not office life returns to normal for you, it is time out of the house and away from the routine of baby care. You’ll need to ensure your partner has some time off to break her routine with the baby – maybe the occasional afternoon out, or a night on the tiles with friends – something that will reassure her that life isn’t moving on without her.

Weekends are another potential flashpoint, as they were once your time to relax after a busy working week, but will now be filled with the many jobs that your partner simply cannot hope to manage in your absence. She has the upper hand here – your work is just five days a week, hers is seven, so you’ve got to bend on the weekend time. At least it’s a good opportunity for bonding – you’ll be surprised at how motorsport can grab the attention of a three-week-old.

Sleep is probably the number one ‘fear factor’ surrounding the return to work. Suddenly those long afternoon meetings in a warm boardroom start to feel like the perfect opportunity for a nice nap. But if you want to avoid falling face-first into your coffee and digestives, you’ll need to work out a strategy for getting enough night-time sleep to survive the day. Note the use of the word ‘enough’. We’re talking about military rations here.

Unless you’re phenomenally lucky, you’ll have disturbed sleep for a few months, and surviving this period is all about sharing out the tasks to give everyone a basic minimum of four hours unbroken kip each night. Any less than that and you or your partner simply won’t function. You could come over all ‘caveman’ about is and say that just because you’re the wage-earner you should get your eight hours, but ask yourself whether you would like to be left in charge of a newborn baby while chronically sleep-deprived? Thought not.

When our first child was born we broke the night session into three chunks of four hours. Whoever handled the baby during the middle section (commonly known as the graveyard shift) got to sleep for the other two sessions. We rotated the schedule to keep both of us on the right side of human and it worked. Just about.

Another common and entirely understandable side-effect of getting back to work is feeling a bit sidelined from the developing relationship between your partner and the baby. This comes into sharp focus when she becomes involved in a whole community of health visitors and post-natal clubs. Views get shared, advice is exchanged and suddenly you’re hearing about changes in your child’s upbringing second-hand. It’s easy to be suspicious, particularly of the health visitor, who has the potential to play a major role in your partner’s life over the coming months. Left unchecked, your image of this woman can spiral into a vision of a new-age Svengali, weaving a hypnotic spell of bizarre childcare theories developed by Mayan witchdoctors. Or maybe that was just me.

Anyway, the answer’s simple – handle the six months after the birth as you managed pregnancy. Make sure you’ve got some leave saved back, so you can attend your baby’s six-week (or thereabouts) check at the doctor. Get to at least one health visitor session, and to the parent-and-baby clinic if there is one near you.

There’s practical reasons for fearing the months after the birth too, particularly for monetary reasons. If you’re at all worried, sit down and make a list of your living expenses pre-birth (cinema, theatre, restaurants, holidays, alcohol, season tickets for Chelsea etc.), then deduct those expenses from your total outgoings, because you don’t stand a chance of doing any of them for at least the duration of your partner’s maternity leave. Hey Presto, suddenly you’re better off than you thought – as long as you manage to rein in the spending on Gucci baby clothes.

In all seriousness, the essential message for all men worried about handling the period after the birth of the baby is ‘remember you’re a team’. Throwing a metaphorical fence around yourself while you earn the money will result in a strained relationship with your partner, precious little precious time with your baby and, quite probably, an awful lot of strange looks from your colleagues, who will be expecting the occasional appearance with burped up milk all down your suit, or to have you absent-mindedly call them ‘darling’.

So maintain your share of the responsibilities, keep everyone’s sleep levels as high as possible, get friends and family to help out, trust your partner’s post-natal support network, try to take some time out for just you and your partner, and don’t forget that her role caring for the baby is a full-time job as demanding and exhausting as your own. And don’t forget to stuff your wallet with baby pictures.

This feature first appeared under the title ‘While you were gone’ on babyworld.co.uk